In September, Buster died. He was one of the 16 cousins I grew up with. We all spent a lot of time together and were more like brothers and sisters than cousins. Even though our time as adults is limited by our separate lives, when we do connect, the feelings of being kids together returns. The closeness remains. I know I will always have their love and support.
I allude to the 16 cousins in my novel Radiant. My cousins are Cooper Dale’s cousins now, too. I tell stories about my family when I can. I want to keep those old days (and the new ones) alive.
In a 2023 post, I shared a poem that embodies what I feel. Here it is again:
Family
There’s a net ‘neath my tightrope
If ever I fall
Though it’s not very likely to happen at all
‘Cause I’m strong and I’m sure and my balance is good
But everyone stumbles, so maybe I could
And even if sometime I happen to trip
There’s a net ‘neath my tightrope
If ever I slip
by Vaunda Micheaux Nelson
First published in Cricket Magazine, June 2001
Buster and I were born in the same year (1953), as was my cousin Will who passed away five years ago. We lost another of the 16 cousins, Carol, in 2024, and my oldest brother Ed, in 2009. As you know, I generally try to focus on the positive. There is reason for joy here — all the laughter we have shared over the years and all the laughter yet to come.
In many ways our family is lucky. Lucky because of what we had and still have. Lucky because 12 of us are still here.
I share this loss to remind you to tell your people you love them. Tell them now. Show them.
